There's a lot going on this time of year. A lot of different testing, basketball games or tournaments every weekend, things that are needing turned in, mid-term grades coming up and I'm taking a class Wednesday nights for a few weeks.... it's a very weird time in the school year. We're done with Christmas break, we're over halfway through the year, the long winter is still here (although it hasn't been a bad one) and everyone is either wanting and waiting for that big snow blizzard to finally come and make everything white so we can use the snow-machines again or they're like me and wanting that spring weather to come after the little tease we had. On top of all of that, add in making some of the biggest decisions that need made. Contracts come out in a few weeks on my birthday - Happy birthday to me. There's the decision of staying here for another school year or going back down to the lower 48. Do I know where exactly I'd go if I went back down? Not yet. I've been struggling with this decision for awhile now and probably will for a few more weeks. It's an all too familiar feeling from last year around this time when I had to make the same decision in Port Heiden. Not a feeling I really like, imagine that? I love, love, love my job and my kids, everyone I work with and work for, I love this area and this state and I love the way of life but man can it be hard to do alone. I am lucky to be surrounded by an amazing family here but when I go home and talk to Macy, she doesn't talk back. I know, I'm crazy. ;) Don't get me wrong, I still talk to her and having her here as saved me so much, however, she's not a human. I hate having to make these decisions because I know no matter what I will make some people unhappy and I HATE that. However, I do know that everything will work out the way it's supposed to work out. If I'm meant to stay another year in this awesome district, I will and if I'm meant to go back down to the lower 48, I will. I just have to keep praying that this decision will get easier and think about what's best for me in the end. Is is staying here alone again or going back towards my family? I don't know.
I know this isn't like my usual posts and I apologize it's not filled with stories and pictures but this decision has got me extremely stressed out and I just wanted or needed to vent a little and I am well aware that my family back home has probably been curious as to what I'm going to do as well...... so now you all know where I stand, I've just got to make that final decision here soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying my prayers that this decision gets easier!
I do have some new pictures to post for you all to see so I will try to do that later today after class. : )
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